Random Stuff

I KNEW A GIRL....

that was so
stupid that....


1. She called me to get my phone
number.
2. She spent 20 minutes looking at the orange juice box

because it said "concentrate."
3. She put lipstick on her forehead
because she wanted to make up her mind.
4. She tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order.
5. She sent me a fax with a stamp on it.
6. She tried to drown a fish.
7. She thought a quarterback was a
refund.
8. She got locked in a grocery store and starved to death.
9. She tripped over a cordless phone.
10. She took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept.
11. She asked for a price check at the Dollar Store.
12. She thought Meow Mix was a CD for cats.
13. When she heard that 90% of all crimes occur around the home, she moved.
14. When she missed the 44 bus, she took the 22 bus twice instead.
15. When she took you to the airport and saw a sign that said "Airport Left" she turned around and went home.
16. She said "Hello Hannah, what's your name?"


24 WAYS 2 ANNOY UR PARENTS!! :

1.follow them around the house everywhere.

2. Moo when they say your name.

3. Pretend to have amnesia.

4. Say everything backwards.

5. Run into walls.

6. Say that wearing clothes is against your religion.

7. Go into their room at 4 in the morning and say "Good Morning Sunshine!"

8. Snort loudly when you laugh and then laugh harder

9. Say all of the words in a film.

10. Pluck someone's hair out and yell "DNA!!!"

11. Wear a sticker that says "I'm crazy"

12. Talk to a pen.

13. Have 20 imaginary friends that you talk to ALL the time.

14. Try and climb a wall.

16. Put pegs on your nose and eyes.

17. Switch the light button on and off for awhile. Then say "Oh...I get it!"

18. Eat your hair.

19. Hold their hand and whisper to them "I see dead people."

20.When you shower or bath yell"I'm drowning!"

21. At everything they say yell "LIAR!!"

22. Pretend to be a phone.

23. Try to swim on the floor.

24. Tap on their door all night.





15 Ways to Get Kicked Out of Wal*Mart

1-wander through the store dressed in all black with a fake walkie-talkie humming the Mission Impossible theme. When someone asks what you're doing, scream "LOOK OUT!!!" and push them behind a shelf

2-Pass out bananas to random people and snicker loudly after they take one.

3-Buy 350 packets of tuna and scream "THIS CAN'T BE RIGHT!!! YOU HAVE TO PUT SOME BACK!!!" once the cashier tells you the price

4-Walk around looking confused in the CD section and ask someone where you can find some "musical devices"

5-when the announcer-thing comes on, throw yourself on the floor and scream "THE VOICES!!!THEY'RE BACK!!!"

6-start a fish stick fight

7-walk up to random people and give them giant bear hugs. Then scream "I MISSED YA, MAN!!!!!!!"

8-(this requires a friend) Jump in a cart and have a friend push you around screaming "The British are coming!!!"

9-walk up to an employee and murmur "code red in aisle 3" and see what they do

10-slip a br@ and a lacey pink th0ng into a really macho-looking man's cart (just make sure he doesn't have any girls with him)

11-attempt to fly off a high shelf

12-throw confetti on random people walking into the store

13-whisper "I know your "little secret"' to people in the checkout line

14-stand inside the freezer at the frozen food section

15-walk up to employees and whisper "I saw dead people...They want me to take you away...to aisle 8..."




~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Take this advice:

[1.] Everybody has blonde moments

[2.] You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years.

[3.] The real reason for not staying in touch with your friends is that they don't have a screen name.

[4.] You'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of just pushing to button on the .T.V.

[6.] Your boss doesn't even have the ability to do your job.

[7.] You read this list, and keep nodding and smiling.

[8.] As you read this list, you think about sending it to all your friends.

[9.] And.. you were too busy to notice number 5.

[10.] You actually scrolled back up to check that there was no number 5.

[11.] And now you're laughing at your stupidity. Put this on your profile and something good will happen to you.


FAKE FRIENDS: Never ask for food.
REAL FRIENDS: Are the reason you have no food.

FAKE FRIENDS: Call your parents Mr/Mrs.
REAL FRIENDS: Call your parents mom & dad

FAKE FRIENDS: Bail you out of jail and tell you what you did was wrong.
REAL FRIENDS: Would be sittin next to you sayin; man... That was awsesome!

FAKE FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry.
REAL FRIENDS: Cry with you.

FAKE FRIENDS: Borrow your stuff for a few days then give it back.
REAL FRIENDS: Keep your stuff so long they forget its yours.

FAKE FRIENDS: Know a few things about you.
REAL FRIENDS: Could write a book about you with direct quotes from you.

FAKE FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.
REAL FRIENDS: Will get the whole crowd that left you.

FAKE FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door.
REAL FRIENDS: walk in without knocking like they live there.

FAKE FRIENDS: Will talk bad to the person who talks bad about you.
REAL FRIENDS: Will knock them out.

FAKE FRIENDS: Would ignore this.
REAL FRIENDS: Will repost it.

FAKE FRIENDS: Are for a while.
REAL FRIENDS: Are forever!